fryske noir.



Above: Hindeloopen and the sloppiest little cemetery in Nederland (from 1570). Below: not a camera trick, that is really the size of the XL Tosti with cheese from De Nylander at De Hinde, pretty good actually despite its giant-size gimmickry; meandering through the empty streets of Hindeloopen; cool tiles at the Museum Hindeloopen; then off to Workum, also abandoned in the off-season, where we spent the evening eating deer meat (ok just me) and suikerbrood and making unwise bets on pool games in a completely empty disco/billiards bar, then back to our completely empty hotel.

In the morning, our (giant) kind-of German hotel breakfast (including more suikerbrood); then a drive off along the coast through Arum, Kimswerd, Oudebildtzijl, and 17 other places continuing to look for the next Ferndale.



View from the Groningen train station. Ottolenghi's root vegetable mash with stewed shallots (or whatever it would be called in English) from Plenty More. View from the train to Groningen. Momofuku's shrimp and grits (and bacon and egg). View from the train to Groningen. Ottolenghi's tagliatelle with walnuts and surprisingly good spinach, date and pita salad. Cafe Atlantis in Groningen, Nelson in foreground Bert in background. Bert's tosti, winner of the VDuck Tostiproeftest 2015.


hello two thousand sixteen.

It's all happening so fast. Two point five weeks down. I just turned forty fucking seven. Yes I'm going to spell out every single goddamn number I use in this mother effing, yes I'm joking, I'm not really saying mother effing, paragraph.


ameland 2.0.


the hideous vegetarian sausage roll project take 2.

This is the successful (-tasting, not -looking) version. It still needs a pinch of adventure somehow, but it tastes pretty great as is plus you'd never guess it was tofu.


vegetarisch saucijzenbroodje.

400g tofu, frozen and defrosted

1 large onion, diced small
2 tbsp butter (i bet you could even make this brown butter for extra boom)

1 tsp, up to 2 tsp freshly grated nutmeg, to taste (important, this should be the top note of the end result, but juuuust barely identifiable)
1 tsp garlic powder
1/2 tsp onion powder
1 tsp paprika powder
1 tsp ginger powder
a pinch ground coriander
1/4 cup ketjap manis, or more, to taste
3 tbsp ketchup
1 tsp freshly ground black pepper
salt to taste

1 egg, lightly beaten

8 sheets 5 x 5 puff pastry


Crumble tofu with your hands until there are no pieces bigger than, say, a kernel of corn.

Spread tofu on a single baking paper-covered baking pan (speak English much?) and roast in 150°C oven for 15-20 minutes, or until lightly browned and dry and spongy.

While that's happening, sauté onion in butter until browned, 15-20 minutes.

Combine spices in a bowl and then add roasted tofu and sauteed onion. Mix and squish with hands until thoroughly combined. Then yeah assemble into sausage rolls (?) and bake for 15-25 minutes or however long it takes.



the hideous vegetarian sausage roll project.

Take 1: pretty much total failure, except for the hideous part.

Things that worked: freezing tofu, pulsing the thawed version with seasonings, sauteeing/caramelizing in a pan, then roasting on baking paper to dry everything out.

Things that didn't work: the seasoning. Something went horribly wrong in the earliest stages, leaving a rather nasty aftertaste, and all signs point to either Worcestershire sauce or allspice/pimiento as the culprit. I've had this happen with allspice before, so that's my suspicion. Here's what I think did work:

400g tofu
3 tbsp ketchup
1/3 cup ketjap manis
2 tbsp mustard
1 tsp nutmeg
a lot of black pepper

and then some other spices that I haven't figured out yet.
sauteed in 2 tbsp butter